It's an unfortunate thing in life to be hurt. Being hurt is inevitable in a fallen world. But you have the power to not fall to bitterness.
Bitterness is a slow, tasteless poison. It's having unresolved issues. At first it seems harmless but then it slowly and steadily consumes you until one day you wake up and that's all you know.
No one wants to walk with a limp when it come to bitterness. So here are three ways to stop it in it's tracks.
1) Remember Jesus
If you have any claim of being a Christian then you need to slow your roll. Let me very clear: you are saved because Jesus decided to take your place. Jesus didn't deserve to die. He didn't deserve to be whipped, to have a thorny crown make His face bleed. All He ever did was speak the truth and show love. He didn't deserve a crowd of people yelling at Him. Mocking Him. Spitting in His face.
He didn't deserve to have His clothing divided like He was some common criminal. He didn't deserve any of that. But He went through it for you. While your pain might be excruciating. While you were treated unfairly. While you were mocked and hurt beyond belief, remember that Jesus came to redeem you. And He came to redeem anyone else who might choose Him.
2) Have Grace
With that remembrance comes grace. Grace is getting what we don't deserve. There is a fine line between enabling and forgiving. However, if we want to be freed from the chain of bitterness then you better get familiar with grace. Because grace lives in the "not fair" land.
"It's not fair that they got a well paying job after trying to swindle me out of my savings."
"It's not fair that she got a new car after totaling mine."
No. None of that is fair. But you need to let God be God. And you need to ask God to remind you of the things that you have received "unfairly". Having grace is actually putting ourselves in perspective of who Jesus is and what He's done for us. It's giving room for God to work in someone's heart. That person may never come to repent.
Fine. Ultimately it's between you and God about your attitude towards what they've done. At the end of the day are you really going to let wrong thing be what defines you?
3) Pray for that person
In the Bible, Jesus gave a parable about two sons. One was a partier who embarrassed his family. Spent money on the wrong things, spent time with the wrong people and had to come to terms with his shame.
When he finally decided to come home, his father RAN to embrace him.
Meanwhile the other brother, the "good" brother stayed at home. He took care of the family.
When he found out that his brother came home, he was angry! And I think that can be what prevents a lot of us from He was blinded by his self-righteousness to see that is was good thing his brother returned home.
Bitterness can masquerade as holiness. It pretends to know scripture and uses it against people. It's looking for fault in a person and setting a standard that they can't even reach.
When we pray, we remember that we aren't holy. We need grace. Praying takes the dagger out of our hands and places trust in God. Praying says that God is ultimately in authority.
Don't let bitterness run your life. Stop replaying that situation. The stranger in the grocery store doesn't need to hear the same story you've told twenty times. You can stop defending yourself. Let down your shield. Trust that God take care of you.
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