Depending on the culture you grew up with, you might have a strong connection to the statement: Family = Blood. Some other phrases you might familiar with are:
"Don't turn your back on family."
"Family sticks together no matter what."
"But they're your _____ *insert blood relative*"
Thankfully, for the most part, we've come to realize that just because they're family doesn't mean they aren't toxic. But perhaps that's what makes separation the trickiest? When this thought that we don't abandon family-no matter what- seeps into our life, it can cause us to enable some very bad behavior.
In the Church we have such a strong desire to reconcile that we tend to overlook very problematic behaviors. We also overlook a very important thing Jesus said.
He didn't come to unite family.
"Don't imagine that I came to bring peace to the earth! I came not to bring peace but a sword.
'I have come to set a man against his father, a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law....'" -Matt 10:34-35
Someone might read that and think, "But isn't God good?". Yes, God is good. He also justice and truth. We think that good is something that makes us feel good. But those who have done the good and right thing know just how painful and difficult it is. Good in the context of truth will always remain supreme. But it doesn't mean there won't be conflict.
When it comes to family, we can be so conflict adverse, that we continue to not let people be put in check. If someone is being manipulative, we allow it and allow ourselves to be subject to their manipulation. Just because they're family doesn't mean they're good. Just because they're family doesn't mean that we owe them our loyalty. Some people will take loyalty so far as to avoid consequences. If someone does something immoral or illegal, as a family, the most loving thing to do is to bring the truth to light. Sin will only continue to manifest in the dark.
When you follow Jesus, you give up all allegiance to family. Does this mean that you don't love and serve your family? No! But it means that your family cannot have first place in your life.
Our allegiance to Christ might actually reveal the fractures that were always there. When we start to speak the truth (in love always!), we can become targeted. We become hated by the ones who were supposed to love us the most. That's a very difficult experience to go through. After all, we were made for a family unit. The first marriage in the Bible resulted in a family. (But even that family had problems...)
So what do we do when our family turns their back on us for speaking the truth?
Thankfully, Jesus knew that this might happen. So He created a new family. One that transcends blood by Blood. He created the Church. Through the work He did on the Cross, we go this portion of imperfect people who look to serve a perfect God. People who are united not by race or gender or money. Rather people who are united by a God who loved them so much that He couldn't bear to be separated.
If your original family unit is estranged, I feel your pain. I see the deep sorrow of sin that you wrestle with daily. For it's sin that estranges, not Christ. Jesus only reveals what has always been there. Since you are reading this, I assume that you are wanting Christ more than the comfort and pleasure of sin. (That's only temporary anyways.) It's so easy to lose heart in this. But Jesus has overcome and will continue to overcome this difficulty. In the meantime, He gave us the comfort of the Holy Spirit and His church.
So I guess family does equal blood. But whose blood do you belong to?
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