Where human frailty (broken humanity) meets holy living.
As a Christian trying to follow God, it's no secret that it's tough. Or messy. Or complicated. But what do you do when your faith and pain of living on this earth collide? Is God not good anymore? Does He not care? Is He silent to my hurt?
There is a deep wrestling that you as a Christian need to come to terms with. I think that in our American Christianity, we run away from difficult experiences and conversations that confront us to put our beliefs to the test. Yes, God is good when I have a job. Yes, God is good when I have my health. Yes, God is good when my relationships are in right order.
But is God still good? Does God still care when everything falls apart? Is God still in control when I don't get the restoration I'm hoping for? When that relationship will never be fixed? Is God still good?
That is for you to decide.
But let me remind you of this: God can handle what we throw at Him. Perhaps we don't want to wrestle with these tough issues because we're afraid that God can't handle it. We're afraid that the answer we're given means God isn't good. We might be afraid that all this time spent following God was for nothing.
My dear friend... I hear your thoughts. I feel them myself. I'm afraid sometimes, not of God but of my own humanity. That I won't be able to handle what God says. Anyone who has walked this road knows those feelings and thoughts all too well.
My challenge for you is to sit with it. Don't try to rush the process. We can know we have victory and still struggle in the battle. That isn't a lack of faith. It's actually a moment of worship.
A moment where you choose to believe if God is still good even when facing incredible pain. A moment of sitting in the hurt when you know healing is coming. Jesus in His darkest moments had blood come out of His forehead before going to the Cross. He knew that He would be resurrected. That didn't invalidate what He experienced in that Garden. The garden of Gethsemane that would redeem the garden of Eden still witnessed the Savior of the world in deep grief.
So as you wrestle with your humanity and the God you serve, remember that Jesus did too.
"And He took Peter and the two sons of Zebedee with Him, and began to be grieved and distressed. 38 Then He said to them, “My soul is deeply grieved, to the point of death; remain here and keep watch with Me.”
39 And He went a little beyond them, and fell on His face and prayed, saying, “My Father, if it is possible, let this cup pass from Me; yet not as I will, but as You will.” -Matthew 26:37-39
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