To forgive is to look at yourself clearly in the mirror. Not a rose-colored mirror or a mirror that makes you see double/triple of yourself. But a mirror that clearly shows who you are, flaws and all.
To forgive isn’t pointing the finger. It doesn’t excuse accountability. Rather, It’s saying, “God is the judge.”.
God is our judge.
That’s a scary thought when we realize how far we are from His perfect standards. But He is not a judge looking to punish. He will punish as necessary but He is looking to correct those He loves. For us to experience the love of God and not the judgment of God is to accept His forgiveness and mercy.
It’s to say, “I am a sinner. I have wronged you. I don’t deserve to be in good standing with you, nor do I expect to be, but I am truly sorry for the hurt I have caused you.”
Before we can offer forgiveness to others, we must first understand what it means to be forgiven ourselves. We must come face to face in the mirror. We must not whitewash, slap spiritual labels or try to use wit and logic.
To understand forgiveness we must see ourselves clearly. We cannot hold pride hostage anymore. That doesn’t mean we crawl to the ground crying, “we are worms, we are worms”. We have innate worth given by God as image-bearers. But we recognize- I recognize- that our worth comes from God.
To forgive is to be comfortable with scandal. The scandal of sin. The scandal of my sin and your sin. The scandal of what God does with sin.
To forgive isn’t easy but it’s required when you know who Jesus is. Yes, you have been wronged. Yes, you put boundaries. Yes, you must forgive.
“But he…”
“But she…”
“But they…”
The act of their wrong doing cannot define your life. The act of God’s grace must define you. The worth of His forgiveness must define you. I am not ignoring or excusing your pain for I feel it deep within my soul.
But from one friend to another, we must learn how to forgive and keep forgiving. We won’t always get it right but we must allow ourselves to be held accountable to God’s standard for our lives. He wants only the very best for us but we cannot be our own worst enemy. We already have an enemy for our souls. We are already in the middle of war. Don’t let this pain distract you from the truth. Understand the pain, seek to heal the pain. Learn to forgive and you will become more unstoppable than ever.
But to forgive, you must look in the mirror clearly.
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