When going through stressful experiences such as grief and estrangement, it's normal for our bodies to take a back burner.
I will be the first to tell you that I ignore all the body cues that God has given me. During my parent's divorce, I ignored the body cues. (Truthfully, I also didn't recognize them for what they were.) In wrestling with that grief, I would stay up late and spend time with friends. Then, I would get up early to go to work. I ate more ice cream than I probably should have and filled my day with so much activity that I didn't rest. My mind was constantly spinning and I could feel the weight in my chest. It wasn't until a few years later that I realized how much of a physical weight that grief was to me and the damage it had done to my body. I didn't realize the contributing factors that kept me in grief longer than necessary or what I could have done to help myself in the process.
I want you to learn from my experience. I want you to grow in self and body awareness because these are tools that God have given us. First, I want to make a list of a few questions to ask ourselves, then follow up with a few things we can do to help our body.
These will not be in one particular order but as a simple check list to make sure you are giving yourself what you need.
Let's get started:
Questions to ask myself:
-Am I feeling cranky?
-Where is this headache coming from?
-Am I feeling fatigued?
-What does my heart rate feel like?
-Am I holding my breath?
-What did I eat today?
-Am I constipated?
-Am I thirsty?
-Am I hungry?
How to support my body:
-sleep level: For me, my experience was to run away as much as possible. That was my stress response. I ran away from uncomfortable situations and emotions. I constantly distracted myself to the point that I was becoming sleep deprived. When your body doesn't get enough sleep, it breaks down your mental clarity and your immune system. So how much sleep are you getting? Is it restful sleep or are you tossing and turning? What are some things you can focus on to improve your sleep?
-nourishing food: I am the first person to run towards mint brownie sundaes. Sugar gives me the high that I need to keep my spirits lifted. That's normal. But when I go to it in every emotional low, it causes damage to my body and psyche. I don't want to be focused on "health" food because that can become a whole other monster. Instead, I want to focus on food that I need.
First, am I eating? I don't know about you but I get HANGRY. I can't go without food. But for some people it's easy for them to forget to eat. So this is your reminder to check in and see if you've eaten lately.
Second, what are you eating? Did you give your body nutrients? Do you have enough protein and fat and carbs? Did that meal make you feel energized or did it weigh you down?
-Water: we all know that we need to get water into our bodies. Did you drink water in the morning or did you go straight for the coffee? Is the sluggishness you're feeling coming from the soda? Is the jittery feeling coming from too much caffeine? Is that headache because you haven't drank enough water?
-how am I breathing: more people hold their breath than they realize. When you limit your breath intake, it actually causes you to not think clearly. Your brain needs oxygen to keep things flowing. Most people breathe very shallow. Practicing things like Pilates or yoga, helps us focus on our breathing. It gives us strength to control our breathing. Downloading apps that focus on breathing also can help guide us.
This video is a great start to practice your breathing skills.
-how much sun am I getting: Vitamin D is a nutrient that we need. The main source of D is sunlight. Getting sunshine helps us settle our spirit when things are getting out of control. Just taking time to sit in the sun will help ground us. How much sun have you gotten today? Have you been in a building all day? Are you surrounded by growing things? (Plants, aquariums, etc.,) Have you taken a minute to go outside and get fresh air?
When you expose yourself to sunlight, your body releases serotonin that boosts your mood. *Sunlight also helps with sleep!
When going through stressful situations, take a few minutes to check in with yourself. See how your body is feeling. It's an amazing tool that God gave us. It's not selfish or self-absorbed. It's actually honoring what God has given us to take the time to see what signals your body is telling you. Don't let this list overwhelm you either. This is just a starting point. Soon it becomes a habit, learning to check in with your body and what it needs.
May you learn from my lessons and may this help your on your journey.
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