During the first few years I was saved, I thought that worship was singing songs. Worship was a time when the room was dark in church and special music played. As I understood more about what genuine worship was, I realized that music is just the beginning of praising God.
So what does worship look like besides music and how do you worship in your hardest times?
Worship is simply giving honor where honor is due. Proverbs tells us that the fear of the Lord is beginning of wisdom. (Pro 9:10) Fear in this case doesn't mean being afraid. It means giving proper respect. Fearing God means putting His ways above ours. It means not stealing company time and instead working hard as if God is our boss. Fearing God means holding your tongue when your want to be mean and cruel. Fearing God means that you trust Him to exact justice and that you won't resort to vengeance. Worship is truly an obedience to God and His ways.
So how do I give honor to God in the midst of this indescribable pain? Let me tell you a story.
The Sunday after my dad and brother died, I insisted that my mom and I get to church. That had to be one of the hardest Sunday's ever. I knew that no one would blame us if we didn't go. But for me personally, I know that church (the people of God) is how God does His best work. The Bible tells us to come together and to not forsake the gathering of His people. (Heb. 10:25) So by faith, I went knowing that even if I wanted to be anywhere but at church, I was going to honor God.
When we went in, the music was already playing. Worship isn't only singing but it starts there.
That Sunday, the first Sunday of the new year, they sang songs of death. I can't tell you what exact songs they were. But when the lines came that said Jesus had conquered death, a lump formed in my throat. Here my father and brother were laying in the morgue and I had the choice to declare that Jesus conquered death.
Those tears I cried were my act of worship to God. That God was still good in the middle of indescribable pain. This wasn't my first time worshipping in the middle of hard things.
It doesn't get easier but it does become familiar. Choosing to proclaim truth when my heart is feeling anything but it. Worship is where the rubber meets the road. I can declare all I want but when life comes will I choose to honor God?
I don't know what pain you're walking through. Perhaps it's a messy marriage, maybe a broken relationship or even unmet expectations and disillusionment. God sees all of that. In these moments, your act of worship is choosing to say that God is still God and He is still good.
No, that won't make the pain any easier and you might have to sit there longer than you can bear. But worshipping in the middle of heartache is telling God:
"This heart is broken. These circumstances don't make sense. I'm wrestling with questions. But You are God. I will choose to follow even if because You are still good and You are God."
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